Hammacher Schlemmer has a new crap toy for sending to your step-sister's obnoxious children—one that makes grating, out-of-phase noise while also conveniently allowing you to see what would have happened had they been blessed with a third 21st chromosome. Made to fit all but the fattest-handed children, The Hand Band can generate keyboard, guitar or drum sounds, with each finger playing a different note. Additional features include a fill-in option to offer background accompaniment (read: noise), a wireless speaker, and for those so inclined: superfluous sheet music.

Available in red, blue, or yellow, at $99.95. However, I've seen these in person, and would estimate their actual worth at approximately $5.

Catalog Page [Hammacher via Red Ferret Journal]

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