I suppose, in a way, our prayers have been answered. Astute readers Ravi and Lee sent us links to Fatboy and the Lovesac, which kind of sounds like a drive-time DJ team.
"Hey, Fatboy, who do we have on today?"
"Lydia Spanker, a real live 'squirter!'" "Squirter, what's that?"
"Well, Lovesac, I don't know. I just wish I had paid attention in J-school, you know. I wanted to be a war reporter."
"No, man, you know? I followed the broadcast curriculum and I figured I'm kind of petite or whatever so I'd do radio. And my girlfriend at the time was in TV broadcast and all. But here I am in downtown Akron, talking to a woman who squirts water out of her hoo ha. What would Conkrite say?"
"I don't know, man, but you're harshing my buzz, dude. I just did two lines so I could wake up at 5 in the morning to do this."