Essentials: Snowpeak Titanium Spork

Now that the zombie apocalypse is upon us, durability counts. The fuel-efficient hybrid that once seemed so green-friendly now seems like a poor substitute to an SUV with a snow plow attached as you try to crash your way through freeways pulsating with the rotting dead. And you've only got to see the flabby belly of a friend torn apart like lumps of play dough to start wishing you'd spent more time on your abs. What with the imminent global collapse of industry and all, you've really got to make your next few purchases count.

Luckily, Snowpeak is selling a titanium spork, perfect for the on-the-go survivor. Featuring three unbreakable teeth and a sturdy handle, it is perfect for both eating beans out of a rusty tin can or gouging into a zombie's eye. Also, check out the sleek design that features both a concavity and a convexity—use one side of the spoon for rainwater soup while using the other to send morse code flashes of light to other survivors! This spork will never rust or break, making it the perfect accessory to a nightmarish, post-apocalyptic life!

And even if you happen to fall prey to the foaming jaws of former loved ones, this spork will still prove a good investment: it is perfect not only for cracking open the thick skull of your victims, but also to scoop out the delicious goo inside! An absolute steal at $8.89. (Pro Tip: Just steal it.)

Catalog Page [TadGear]