Wait, wait! Before you run away, these skid-marked shorts are fake. What a great place to store your
shit valuables! The Brief Safe from Shomer-Tec Law Enforcement & Military Equipment lets you hide cash, jewelry, or documents in the Velcro-closing fly of these bloomers that need a good washin'.
Think about it—what thief in his right mind would be rummaging around inside a shitty pair of underpants? Great for hotel rooms. We're just wondering where you would keep shorts like this—lying in the middle of the floor?