We won't call our Mom about these four Sprint phones, babbling excitedly about the feature sets and sexy styling. Instead, we will calmly write her a letter, informing her that she should lay off the sauce and consider getting the CDM-120 nee UTStarcom CDM-7025 with nothing in it, the SPH-A580 with monochrome display (!!), the multi-colored Sanyo SCP-3100, or LG LX350 with 1.3-megapixel camera. We'll tell her all of them are priced to move, with the LG offering topping out at $80 with contract. Then we'll fold the letter, place it an envelope, and then drop it on the pile near the door where it will stay, with all the other letters. Then we'll go make some ramen and watch Judge Judy.