Normal Person's Lighter, Pyro's Fire Extinguisher

If only this were full-sized, it would make for the best pranks.
"John, toss me the extinguisher!"
"Don't be a hero."
"I wasn't put on this earth to sit in a cubicle all day...tell my kids I love them."
"Don't!"
"I need to - get the hell out of here while you still can."
"Ok, here's the extinguisher...good luck in there."
(beat)
"Ahhh! WTF! This thing is shooting out fire!! FIRE!!! HELP!!!!"
"They say you fight fire with fire!"
"I just burned a puppy alive you maniac!"

[Aving]