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If you want to not cry when chopping onions, you can either follow one of those home-remedies about holding your breath or putting some carrots up your nose, or you can buy one of these Onion Goggles. Twenty bucks will prevent any onion or onion-related parts from getting up into your eyeballs, which is a good thing.

If you're chopping onions for some dame you're trying to impress, we recommend not using these. Not only do you look like a dork, but tears make her think you're sensitive.

Product Page [Broadway Pan Handler via Red Ferret]