The Japanese Wii Safety Manual is Crazy

This crazy Japanese Wii safety manual is pretty much indicative of Japanese people's general insanity. Our theory: a secret battle between Godzilla and several Gundams in the early 1980s bombarded the whole of Japan with cosmic G-rays, which allowed then-youths to grow up and draw these weird-ass manuals.



First, hitting your husband in the face with a Wiimote is not acceptable even if you're pregnant. Do not blame it on your hormones.

Lots more after the jump.

The Japanese Wii Safety Manual is Crazy

Do not pour half a bottle of orange-flavored tea onto your Wii. Anything less than half is fine.

The Japanese Wii Safety Manual is Crazy

The Wii is not a tie. (I actually did this when I was playing Zelda.)

The Japanese Wii Safety Manual is Crazy

Do not attempt to control your heart with the Wiimote.

The Japanese Wii Safety Manual is Crazy

Do not imitate that clip of the "smoking woman" with your Wii.

The Japanese Wii Safety Manual is Crazy

When the Wii catches a cold, use a hypo-allergenic blanket.

The Japanese Wii Safety Manual is Crazy

Do not remove the four leaf clover from your Wii. It is Nintendo's secret to motion sensing.

The Japanese Wii Safety Manual is Crazy

Do not unwrap the Wii over your head.

The Japanese Wii Safety Manual is Crazy

Do not attempt to produce your own twist-ties for the sensor bar. One is provided for you.

The Japanese Wii Safety Manual is Crazy

Test have shown limited success with playing the Wii with your feet. However, you will produce lightning.

The Japanese Wii Safety Manual is Crazy

Blu-ray discs will not work in the Wii.

The Japanese Wii Safety Manual is Crazy

Do not lay out a Wii for homeless Japanese citizens. They should clean themselves up and get a job like an honorable salaryman.

The Japanese Wii Safety Manual is Crazy

Do not forcibly remove Wii discs. There is an ejection mechanism. Jerk.

The Japanese Wii Safety Manual is Crazy

Do not attempt to wake up the Wii when it is napping.

The Japanese Wii Safety Manual is Crazy

Do not attempt to plug the nunchuk attachment into your foot. Again, lightning.

[Kotaku]