Click to viewFor those unaware, today is Fat Tuesday, or Mardi Gras or Shrove Tuesday or Pancake Day or whatever the hell you want to call it. Let me put on my spectacles and give a little history lesson.
Fat Tuesday is the day before Ash Wednesday and the last hurrah before the start of Lent. This day has a lot of significance throughout the world, but for us in the United States, it is just another day where we can get absolutely plastered.
Fat Tuesday is also synonymous with the viewing of breasts in exchange for reward, in most cases, beads. So, what is a better way to ring in Fat Tuesday than a grand ol' list of some of our favorite alcohol- and breast-related gear. Jump to see the entire, possibly NSFW, list.
10. Godzilla Beer Dispenser
I wouldn't suggest drinking directly from this beer-dispensing Godzilla, because then it would appear that you and Godzilla's relationship was more than professional. This little dino lets out a mighty roar upon pouring of a beverage (although, like most dinosaurs, Godzilla prefers beer).
9. Bikini Babe Case Mod
Nothing gets my blood boiling more than a bikini babe and powerhouse computer combined into one sick project. This guy hand-crafted a computer to look like a female of an anime variety.
8. Breast Shaper
Ladies, or well-endowed guys: You may want to get those breasts in shape before flaunting them around the town for beads, and this strange contraption may be able to do so. The Bust Doctor can reshape breasts. Maybe it can reshape the breasts into animal and other cool figures.
7. Beer Tap Backpack
I know it differs from town to town, but in my neck of the woods the general bar district comes together for one giant celebration, so traveling from bar to bar is generally encouraged. The Beer Tap Backpack will ease those painful 20-foot drinkless walks to the next bar.
6. iBreath iPod Breathalyzer Accessory
What kind of a Gizmodo list would this be without some sort of an iPod accessory? The iBreath attaches to the bottom of the iPod and can give a BAC quicker than your 80s rock playlist can load.
5. Boobie Mouse Pad
Always a classic is the boobie mouse pad. No further explanation needed.
4. Boob Radio
Tweaking the left nipple adjusts volume and tweaking the right nipple selects a station. Now that is a useful pair of breasts.
3. Breast-Shaped Shampoo Dispenser
Not to be outdone by the boob radio is this boob shampoo dispenser for the shower.
2. Asahi Beer Robot
I'm pretty confident there is not a single person on this planet who would not want to own a beer-pouring robot like this one. The robot doesn't do the greatest job pouring, but we aren't picky.
And with that... Happy Fat Tuesday, all. However you feel like celebrating (whether it be drinking yourself stupid, staying in, or treating it like any other Tuesday) may it be enjoyable. And if you do decide to go out drinking, do it safely. Hand off the keys and do as my mother always tells me: look, but don't touch.