We have a jones for voice recognition, and of course, there's that clock fetish that we can't seem to shake, so here's an alarm clock that satisfies both: The Voice Interactive Alarm Clock can actually hear you when you tell it to shut the fuck up (well, in so many words). You can also ask the thing what time it is, tell it to play back a recorded memo, and command it to turn on a night light. If you want to snooze, you just say "snooze," and if you're really out of it, its display even shows you the day of the week.
If you can't stand that honking buzzer that wakes you up every morning, you can get that comely young lady who spent the night at your place last weekend to record a good morning greeting for you on it, and then it will play that back at your designated time instead of those obnoxious and customary alarm noises.
If it weren't so dog-ugly, looking like a front of an Edsel or someone's mouth with his cheeks pinched together attempting to enunciate the phrase "Porky Pig," we might even be interested in something like this. Expected to ship on April 27th, it'll be $59.95.
Product Page [Hammacher Schlemmer]