Welcome to a Friday-night, Ballmer-free edition of iPhone Non-News.
The least minor of non-events was the discovery of two buttons in the iPhone Google Maps app interface, shown in the above left panel of iLounge's illustration. You'll notice that one button features "a couple of wavy lines" (to quote one of my favorite movies). The other button shows a little car. People are quite certain that one of these buttons will launch the already discussed Traffic feature. Steve Jobs is the only person who knows what happens if you push the other button.
OK, I'll tell you: you get $200,000 tax free, and someone you don't know dies.
You'll notice that Cingular (shown on the older image at right) has been changed to AT&T. Could this be the very moment when we kiss Cingular goodbye forever? Hey, I will as soon as The New AT&T stops using it. Come on, whoever you are, this is confusing!!
The photo appeared in an iPhone promotional e-mail sent out by the aforementioned New AT&T, who apparently didn't read the market research we have, that says between 1 and 100 people out of 100 has already bought an iPhone in their minds.
No, seriously, there's a lot of serious serious, like super serious market research going on. At this very moment, between 6 and 9 percent of breathing humans claim to plan to intend to buy an iPhone, according to an assortment of reports, while two-thirds of more or less the same population says, "No flippin' way." (That's a headline writer's call, since you can flip that same data into good news pretty quick, with 33.333% fully giddy about iPhone.
This just in: In a survey I just took, 100% of people in this immediate vicinity are unsure of whether or not they will buy an iPhone, but that is subject to change.
You'll also be happy to hear that the iPhone is still scheduled to ship in June, according to people who just last week said that the iPhone is still scheduled to ship in June. When pressed for details, they revealed that Halloween is still October 31, Christmas is still December 25, and while no one really knows when Easter and Passover will happen next, they are likely to occur at around the same time.
If at this point you are confused, blame Steve Jobs, not me.