Harmony Chip Uses Quantum Mechanics to Cure All Ills, Fix Your Car

Well looky here folks, it's finally arrived, the Harmony Chip, using the mysterious principles of quantum mechanics to give you a cure for anything that ever ailed you. It heals cuts, drives away aches and pains, makes you think more clearly, cures osteoporosis and high blood pressure, and hey, it can even make your car run better. One guy even said it made his knives stay sharper longer. Hook one up to your cellphone and protect yourself from "electro-smog," and those deadly "chaotic scaler waves," too. Thank goodness, we were getting worried about those.

As you can see in the picture here, you're instructed to "never remove protective foils!" You never know, the time/space continuum could get a rip in it, you might open up a black hole ... who knows what? We want to pay the $197 just to remove the protective foil and see what happens. This looks like fun, but for about $190 less, you could get yourself the same thing in a package of Nothing.

Product Page [Harmony United Ltd., via Red Ferret Journal]