Everything was sweetness and light when we started dating. We were both Mac fanboys (well, I'm a girl but you know what I mean) so there were no heated discussions about whether Mac was better than PC or Tiger beat Vista. So news of a new MacBook just made us purr with delight.

Things got a bit hotter when we bought our Wii. Before we knew it, an element of competitiveness had come into our relationship. And when I came home with this little sword-and-shield combo for our console, he wanted it. But I said No.

More War after the jump.

Nothing happened for a week or so, until he appeared with one of these combat helmets for our Wii sessions. After a week of tinkering with it in the garage, he'd modified it for the Wii. He said it was for his own protection, that I was a bad loser. I screamed that I wasn't and hit him. Hard.

Then before you know it, we'd moved into out-and-out gadget warfare. I bought him a pair of these singing breasticles and told him it was the only pair he'd get his hands on until he let me have the helmet.

And then I came home to find that he'd replaced the kitchen chairs with Jason's beautifully monikered asswear. And he told everyone that they reminded him of me. Now I remember why I fell in love with him in the first place. – Ad Dugdale

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