It was only a matter of time before the first legitimate iPhone buyer listed their unit on eBay for millions of dollars, but at least seller "ansiv" has an excuse: like a puddle of water forming the Virgin Mary, the serial numbers of his iPhone spell out "toyzsex" in Leetspeak. We love his listing, so here's our play-by-play:

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For the Elite: This IPhone's serial number translates to Toyzsex (Starting In that order) in Leetspeak.

Starts confident. Solid intro.

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The exact Translation is "T(_)YZSEX" with more digits behind that, yes I know "(_)" is a "u"..But after all it's slang and that's close enough for me.

Uh oh, starting to hedge a bit. Is something that's "close enough" to such perversion really worth $5 million?

For the Rich and Famous: If you don't understand the above, don't worry you will make out the word sex in the S#, its listed as "5EX" but even without using LeetSpeek, from 12 inches away (NO Pun Intended) the font makes the "5"(The Five) look 99.999% like an "S", spelling.

Sex? 12-inch pun? Sold!

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Listing [ebay]
Thanks Visna, we want ten percent!