Those paragons of journalistic virtue, reporters from TV tabloid/rag Inside Edition, decided to see what kind of flora and fauna were thriving inside and on top of cellphones, and you may not like what they found. Eww. All kinds of shit, including HARMFUL BACTERIA, were seen crawling around when swabs from volunteer cellphones were rubbed on petri dishes and viewed under a microscope. Alert the media! Wait, this is the media. Okay, alert some gullible person!