Is Wednesday feeling slow? Maybe you have to jump into your time-traveling rubber pants and read our fabulous stories from yesterday:

• iPhone Completely Freed From AT&T Galactic Empire With Turbo SIM
• Falcon Flashlight Wanking Device Is Just Wrong, Yet Strangely Attractive
• Wood Stool Accommodates Your Balls, Probably Hurts Your Scrotum

• Fire Balls Create Animations in Mid-Air, Probably Could Hurt Your Scrotum Too
• Implanted Bra Looks Awfully Painful or Just Plain Awful
• Guy Says We Probably Are a Simulation, World Ignores Him, Keeps Savoring Steaks
• Ultra Sleek YP-P2 Is Not as Sleek as the Sex Cyborg Ninjas Carrying Them
• Train Your Penis With Dream Lover 2000. Or Something
• Round $40 Flights Promise Lousy Service, Cattle Transport Conditions
• Recycling Program for Rabbit Vibrators! Duck Vibrators! Rabbit Vibrators! Duck Vibrators!

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