The office can be a dangerous place, full of danger and boredom. Thankfully ThinkGeek have come to the rescue with some lightweight and affordable chain mail. At only 20 pounds, this aluminum armour is light enough to wear all day, and comes in both large and medium sizes. It should fend off light blows and any attention from the opposite sex.
Because it's made from aluminium though, it's not all that strong, and is more for show than anything else - so don't try testing this out in actual jousting/sword-fighting events. It's available now for a very reasonable $99.99. [ThinkGeek]