Marantz CR201 CD Player is Better Than Your OffspringS

The Marantz CR201 may not scream sexy by name, but by damn, it screams sexy by form factor. The standalone CD player may not tick the right boxes when it comes to functionality, but neither do your kids. The mirrored finish, blue LED-lit CD bay and USB connection for direct digital tune playing will allow you to appreciate music with super sexy styles.

Unlike the messy twerps that stole your life after plastic had torn, the Marantz CR201 will only give your life a new positive direction once you do away with the plastic covering. If the leeches children leave you with $759.00 at the end of the month, why not treat yourself? OK, so it isn't going to happen—we're trying to help, man. We really are. [Product Page via Sci Fi Tech]