Good news, crazies! There's a new update to your tried-and-true tin foil hat which promises to "stop aliens from abducting humans." Finally! The website gives you full instructions on how to construct a Stop Abductions helmet of your own using only a pair of scissors, a highlighter, a yardstick, a paper plate, a roll of 2-foot tape, some of 3M's electrically-conductive Velostat composite, and a hat. As a bonus, it'll give everyone around you fair warning that you're certifiably insane and should be avoided, which should cut down on awkward confrontations with non-crazies. [Product Page via Danger Room]

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