This reminds me of the time when I was 10 and was about to get caught after breaking a vase, and I hit my head on the table on purpose so pity would mitigate the rage that would ensue. It's not as effective when you're an adult.

I feel slightly better about wearing my headset and looking like a member or the borg collective knowing that it may someday save my life.

Looks like the guy from Full Metal Jacket

@Lavallee017: The Borg will add your biological and technological distinctiveness to their own. Once everything imaginable is assimilated, they will be perfect. ... like Walmart, but without the lead.

hahahaha you gotta read the linked article, it's even more hilarious with all the details. I've never heard of pistol whipping yourself... brilliant. Tried to rob the place with a safe on a timer, then he went outside, and the doors had automatic locks, so he was stuck outside....

dont get me wrong, it seems obvious that the bluetooth headset saved the day in this case. And I'm glad that the employees were ok. for real real. I don't want any poor bastards working the night shift to get popped for some burrito money.

[warning: strong adult language content]
but what about all the other times those borgs at taco bell are busy talking on the phone instead of not jacking up my order. are these sunzabiches brokering a major stock transaction? are they on the phone with the pope? NO! they're supposed to be making my fuckin chalupa. Call them back on your break asshole, and get back to work.

/end cussing

Typo, second to last line, "ramming his gun own"

"blue-toothed headset" is difficult to say whilst inebriated.

@myotheralt: God, if the Borg come to earth now, they would wind up with click wheels!

Plus they would be way more vulnerable to viruses and would require WGA. It would then be a cinch to kill em off.

@Lavallee017: "I feel slightly better about wearing my headset and looking like a complete dork knowing that it may someday save my life."

Fixed it for you.

@EVAN394
I second that. Pisses me off to no end when I have to wait for the twit to finish her text message before she takes my order - serve me dammit!

...Wow, I sound like a self centered elitist prick....

Proof that people walking around with blue tooth headsets on all the time are morons.

Further proof this guy is a dumbass (if you needed any): he robbed Wendy's first thing in the morning, before they opened. Because Wendy's typically keeps a lot of cash on hand right then.

If you use your cellphone at work, are texting or talking on it, I will get on mine and call, while I'm in line and I'll talk to the manager.

Childish? Yes. Gratifying? Yes.

OH! I should start calling from their bathroom. If you want to talk on the phone, I'll just go to the potty and then I'll *toot* when I'm in there and you can be grossed out while I'm pissed off. BWA HA HA HA.

Robber: Don't answer the phone!

employee: but..

Caller: Hey it's dave, Here at wendy's we treat theifs, such as yourself, with the up most respect..please try out famous Frosty Shake

Robber: isnt dave dead?

employee: Not anymore!

Robber: I'm outta here!

@bunnypower: As opposed to saying "whilst" whilst drunk?

@ajcali08: Are you Larry David?

That guy looks like a zombie.