This Time Warner ad taking on Verizon FiOS is so ludicrously hilarious it almost does make want to sign up with Time Warner. In the spot, Verizon is a constipated (wait for it), overly enthusiastic gay-coded dude with magic fingers shooting red lightning and flying Vs (for Verizon!), touting "THE FIBER." It's so ridiculous it almost seems fake.

Sure, Time Warner might have been using "fiber optics for over a decade" but can you get disgusting bandwidth through them? Not yet. Also, hello irony, Time Warner is the company trialing pay-per-byte internet. Sign me up! Actually, I would like a bowl of cereal right now. I love cereal. Mmm. Verizon says it's soggy cereal, though. I like mine of kind of soft, depending on the brand, but not soggy. [Consumerist]