Coffee lovers everywhere should just give up now, the automation of coffee is complete. Scientists have come up with a machine that can taste how good (or swill-like) a cup is, and even sniff out particular types about as well as highly trained human tasters.
Basically, this blasphemous contraption picks up the gas espresso puts out when warmed, and translates the ion combos into frou-frou meatbag descriptions like "roasted, flowery, woody, toffee and acidity." Since it's a European-produced bolt bucket, for now it only tastes ristretto pulls of espresso, but the goal is to use it as a large-scale quality control agent.
Given the cold, ruthless machine that Starbucks has morphed into, I wouldn't be surprised if they dumped their human taste-testers for these things. Everything else is automated at this point, so why not? Embrace (and taste) the machinic mediocrity. [Analytical Chemistry]












Comments
So this is how humanity falls, with taste-testing caffo-bots.
It's nice to see these things being promoted, after years of taste testing cat food. But it's strange though, because they all determine that it's absolutely delicious.
Pretty soon all food will turn into that oatmeal stuff they ate in the Matrix. Remember Tasty Wheat?
was it trained by helmut spargo and will it spike the coffee w/ lsd?
RUN! The coffee taster has gone crazy.
@fsusmithc2: But how did the machines know what Tasty Wheat tasted like? Maybe what they thought Tasty Wheat tasted like tasted more like oatmeal, or tunafish. Maybe that's why everything tastes like chicken.
@Kaiser-Machead:
Exactly. :)
The tongue will certainly never be obsolete, wink wink (even if all food eating and breathing tasks could be accomplished without it).
guys, this isn't the fall of humanity, it's the fall of machines. I can see that the robots tried to take over humanity, but they were too fat, and had sex all day. Granted we need to invent some kind of robot that can determine how good somebody is at sex, but I working real hard on just such a device.
Look on the bright side - when we all get older and our taste buds go out - there will be technology to replace them_ All they'd have to do now is to tie it into the nerve cluster that sends "taste" information to the brian_
@jkr: And when the robot decides that human beings taste the best?
It will be very esasy to kill this machine...I will give it a cup of that tar that comes out of the "coffee" machine at work. NOTHING can survive that. Nothing.
@Curves: Machino-sadism. I love you.
@Kaiser-Machead: I, for one, do not welcome our robotic overlords and am constantly on the lookout for ways to do them in. I love you too (and all the other Gizmotians).
we need this for wine, if only to keep pompous douchebags from arguing about a particular pinot noirs "nose" and "finish". I swear those jackasses just go on and on, eventually agreeing on a description that's usually just as dubious as any other. Hints of currant and cat piss, indeed.
IRONNN COOOOOKKKEERRRUUUUUU!
@fsusmithc2: Yeah!!. One day all everything tastes like chicken.
@Curves: Beware fair maiden, for I am clingy, especially when I think one can protect me from robot overlords.
Wait, Starbucks has coffee tasters? Is that before or after they burn the hell out of the beans?
hmmmm, maybe this is the real reason skynet will off the world, being made to taste lousy scarbucks coffee 24-7
I for one welcome our new coffee robot overlords. Sumatra sir?
"Step away from my Cofee"! and no one gets hurt!!
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