A screening of The Queen for the hard of hearing turned into a farce after the movie was captioned with some of the most surreal subtitles ever seen. Viewers at the event, organised by Ryde Council in Australia, heard Prince Philip, the monarch's husband, claim that "people removed their heads" as he drove past and, my personal favorite, that "every newspaper proprietor has blown in his hands today." Now, while you may think that the British press is run by necrophilia-obsessed onanists, the script said something else:
The subtitles should have read "blood on his hands today," and "hats," rather than heads. And that wasn't all. "Did you vote?" became "Dead in a boat." (Editor's note: I thought it was a car, akshuley), and Buckingham Palace was transformed into "Burking in Paris"—alas, there are times when only a rogue F will do.
Today in Ryde there was the delicious sound of the buck being passed. The firm behind the screening, Outdoor Movies Australia, claimed responsibility for screen, projection and sound only. Please, you talk to Ryde Council, it hedged. When questioned about the provenance of the DVD, a bloke from the council's City Promotions dept said that the original DVD provided by the distributor had "captioning problems." So, he continued, they had to source another DVD "to ensure that the target group was not disappointed."
I think we can safely say, bloke from the City Promotions dept, that they weren't. Come on, mate, spill the beans about where you got the disc from. Someone you met down the pub? A mate of a mate? The guy you see at the subway station who always has the latest DVDs for a couple of bucks, on which the extra features consist of rows of silhouetted heads, the crunch of popcorn, the cough of the sick and the slurp of fizzy drinks?
No. Comment, continued the council. The only thing that City Promotions Bloke would admit to was that "the copy shown did have some spelling mistakes and interpretations of the script which affected the experience for the deaf community present," he said. Affected the experience? Turned a movie from a drama into a comedy in a one-kneed emu. Sorry, I meant to write one easy move. [The Sydney Morning Herald]