Gizmodo
A businessman in the UK has come up with a novel way to deal with potential thieves: firing chickenshit at them from a 30-foot catapult. Joe Watson-Webb, a retired showman, had the iron trebuchet left over from his days as a showman, and gets his avian ammo from the farm next door. Local cops have said that they will prosecute Watson-Webb if he uses the catapult to defend his property against arsonists and robbers—but what would they think about the other weapon he has up his sleeve? Watson-Webb is also the proud owner of a 20-foot-long cannon, out of which he used to fire his wife!
He's modded it to shoot rubber-tipped railway sleepers at criminals. And in spite of the police's stance, the 70-year-old is standing firm. "I'm not out to kill anyone or even hurt them," he says. "I just want to keep yobs off my land."
Signs up at the entrance to Watson-Webb's flooring business warn of the fate that will befall anyone who attempts to get onto the Nottinghamshire property. SmartPoo, it seems, is no laughing matter. "This is a serious issue. People all over Britain are sick and tired of feeling like prisoners in their own homes and seeing yobs get away with it."
After trying just about every security product on the market—fencing, motion-sensor lights and CCTV cameras—the 70-year-old is unrepentant, and has pooh-poohed the attitude of the law. "Maybe the police think I'm joking, but the only people laughing are the criminals. That's why I fully intend to take the law into my own hands." [Daily Mail]
Comments
Are thieves such a big problem over there?
see picture above obviously this gentleman has things of great value
and he's not going to take shit from no one... besides his neighbor
those damn yobs...
Nah, this guy is a lunatic who likes poo. Seems quite English really.
What kind of police threaten a guy protecting his home. It's not like to shit-stained thief is going to file a formal complaint about it (it isn't the US after all, ha ha ha). Leave the old bastard alone.
Yobs, huh? Had to look that one up.
Are all trebuchet catapults? Or are all catapults trebuchet? I thought they were different.
I want one of those for Christmas.
That guy is my hero
What a shitty idea. Why not buy a gun that shoots bullets to protect his property?... Oh wait it's the UK
What is a railway sleeper?
The chicken crap-a-pult is entertaining, a cannon that fires sleeper rails is less so.
If he used to fire his wife out of that cannon... why not blast yobs
into the neighbour's chickenshit?!
criminal rights overpower the moral… cheer cheer.
What are the odds he would actually hit these culprits with the launched fecal matter?
Trebuchet - for castle walls, not moving targets.
@nightsky: A trebuchet is one that uses the weight of something else to propel the lever at speed, usually these are the kind that have a big counterweight and swing around in a full circle, lobbing the projectile.
a catapult is the kind that you pull back under tension, like a spoon with a wad of mashed potato on the end, and release the tension to fire the projectile.
"Local cops have said that they will prosecute Watson-Webb if he uses the catapult to defend his property against arsonists and robbers..."
And that, my friends, is the attitude directly leading to societal degeneration: criminals have more rights than victims. Wonder where those lazy donut-eaters were when the constant stream of crime was driving Watson-Webb to come up with this solution?
This guy needs to move to Texas where it's legal to shoot intruders on your property for various reasons including thievery. I love Texas so much I might move there.
@Curves: Railway Sleeper=Railroad Tie=Giant piece of wood. Which I would imagine would be fatal if it hits you, rubber tip or not.
"That's why I fully intend to take the law into my own hands"
i like this quote. if the legal system provided more for people like this, i think crime rates would drop dramatically...wouldnt knowing that the person you are robbing might have a home made nailgun totallyprevent your mind from considering robbing them?
@agent0064life: d20+weapon proficiency bonus...i imagine hes high lvl too...
@davidm: WTF? Railway Sleeper=Railroad Tie
I'd rather take a bullet than one of those to the gut.
My shop teacher used to wear a pair of suspenders like those.
@undeadmachine:
"if the legal system provided more for people like this, i think crime rates would drop dramatically...wouldnt knowing that the person you are robbing might have a home made nailgun totallyprevent your mind from considering robbing them?"
No. I don't understand why people constantly reference this argument. People in the US have the right to have guns at home, not just home made nail guns, and it doesn't appear to deter robberies.
I don't want a 70 year old who thinks he'll have enough time to load up a chicken shit catapult to deter someone snatching his lawn gnomes as my neighbor.
Actually it does deter robberies - the US has a low rate of robbery, especially of the home-invasion type (the kind where the theives home that the hoemowner is at home) compared to countries like the UK and Canada. In the UK the emphasis on alarms and other passive defence measures encourages theives to visit when the house is occupied, as the alarm is more likely to be turned off. The US really has a low property crime rate compared to a lot of other western countries. Anecdotally, when I moved to NJ I was shocked at how rare things like having a car window broken to steal the stereo are compared to my home town of Vancouver.
Of course, the US does have by far the highes murder rate in the western world, but it is pretty much stable whereas the rate in the UK and Canada is increasing. That said, the vast bulk of US murders are connected to the drug trade - your chances of being murdered are vastly higher if you participate in that sub-culture - otherwise they are pretty comparable to other countries.
I'm from the UK and have lived in the US since 1996. The crime situation there is miserable -vandalism, petty theft and house burglaries are rampant. Nothing at all is safe - theres no point in installing a good car stereo, for example, as it would be gone in a flash, and as for an aftermarket GPS - forget it!
There's a new stereotype that has emerged called "Ratboy" who is usually the one responsible...google this for an explanation.
The law is laughable...I had my car nicked and they caught the ratboy responsible....I went to court for grins, he got a 50 quid fine and told not to do it again...
@DeeJayQueue: That's what I thought. So a Treb is NOT a Catapult, got that Addy! (daily misspelling, improper grammar, misnomer rant on Giz)
I think its funny that he is going to shower all his property with bird shit. Who's the real winner here?
@davidm: Whoa, I know what a railroad tie is, though I never heard it called a sleeper, and I would love some video of that! The rubber tipping sort of seems useless. Why protect against splinters when you have a couple hundred pounds of hot flying oak coming at you.
Fetchez la Vache!
I get the feeling I might be a "yob"
But yeah, most people around these parts are packing much more than chickenpoo if you trespass.
He's sportin' wood. And a lot of it.
@nightsky: they are different. Trebuchets use a large sling at the end of the throwing arm to release a projectile. Catapults only have a basket at the end of the throwing arm.
@GiltProto: They're called trespassers. Texas is known as what is called a "defense of property" state. That means that you are free to defend your property - including shooting anyone who trespasses when "no trespassing" signs have been posted. That also means you can shoot someone who's stealing your property.
From the Texas Constitution:
So, fire away after dark.
how do you know he's royalty? He hasn't got shit all over him. Jeasus christ run away! run away!
i admire this man... i must become this man...
@Elvisisdead: In Oklahoma is called make my day law.
I may be wrong, but this nit wit (who btw is fatter than most pregnant women) is wearing suspenders with inch markings on them. Apparently he wants people to be able to take the measure of the man....
@powerball: His lawn.
@jofus:
Private gun owners in the USA stopped 2.5 million crimes in progress in 2006 alone.
@nutbastard:
link?
But is the poo REALLY all that smart? Couldn't those damn yobs just hop the fence and approach at an angle perpendicular to said catapult and cannon? Wake me when he invents heat-seeking poo.
I'd just get a shotgun and shoot them with birdshot
Though he gets points from me for using a trebuchet, I do feel badly for the Brits. They have traded their freedom for state run security. This will work well... right up until it doesn't... and then there will be nothing they can do about it. Now, Iffin' y'all excuse me, I'm off to the range to give my second amendment rights a work out. :-) Now, git the hell off my lawn!
@nutbastard:
there will be a turret on top of the new addition we are building up north at my girlies place, 50cal machine gun mount like on the rat patrol!!!!!
"i said, stay offa my lawn!!!!!! (tracers whistle thru the night)
As the proud owner of a truck-mounted floating arm trebuchet, I must point out that that thing decidedly is NOT a trebuchet. It vaguely resembles a catapult made out of scrap iron.
Anybody ever heard of pumpkin chunkin? My FAT has a ~300 foot range with ~600 lbs of counterweights, depending on the projectile.
The right to KILL someone that stole from you? Wow, self defense surely, but MURDER someone who STOLE from you? Welcome to America, land of the free, because everyone else got shot.
@jofus: my point in that 'everyone' has/can get a regular gun to commit/defend against criminal acts. they dont seem as scary or deterring as a legally owned and operated home made chainsaw bayonet on your 'home defense' shotgun...(which shoots nails). i see your point though =) home defenders would become an all new threat to our safety....
@Canoehead: "once, while portaging his canoe, he was struck by lightning...."
@jamesuschrist: "...proud owner of a truck-mounted floating arm trebuchet" - Well, there's a sequence of words you don't see strung together every day.
Tell me, are there "ashamed" owners of truck-mounted floating arm trebuchets?" Well, I guess there must be, or we would have heard from them - implying they aren't ashamed in the slightest. Their silence speaks volumes.
Aye, pumpkin chunkin. National sport of ... someplace that really hates pumpkins.
As a Jewess in the US, I want to remind everyone that America wasn't won with a registered gun. Nor are criminals stopped by talk, but rather by FIREARMS. That is why all REAL Americans put our 2nd Amendment FIRST!
@agent0064life:
its called spread
Pisses me off that he can't use the trebuchet to ward off arsonists. I can't believe the cops are so stupid that they would punish this man for defending himself. Ah well, do the right thing and come to America. You can at least protect your home here!
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