Thirty-Foot Trebuchet Fires Chicken Poop at Potential ThievesS

A businessman in the UK has come up with a novel way to deal with potential thieves: firing chickenshit at them from a 30-foot catapult. Joe Watson-Webb, a retired showman, had the iron trebuchet left over from his days as a showman, and gets his avian ammo from the farm next door. Local cops have said that they will prosecute Watson-Webb if he uses the catapult to defend his property against arsonists and robbers—but what would they think about the other weapon he has up his sleeve? Watson-Webb is also the proud owner of a 20-foot-long cannon, out of which he used to fire his wife!

He's modded it to shoot rubber-tipped railway sleepers at criminals. And in spite of the police's stance, the 70-year-old is standing firm. "I'm not out to kill anyone or even hurt them," he says. "I just want to keep yobs off my land."

Thirty-Foot Trebuchet Fires Chicken Poop at Potential ThievesS

Signs up at the entrance to Watson-Webb's flooring business warn of the fate that will befall anyone who attempts to get onto the Nottinghamshire property. SmartPoo, it seems, is no laughing matter. "This is a serious issue. People all over Britain are sick and tired of feeling like prisoners in their own homes and seeing yobs get away with it."

Thirty-Foot Trebuchet Fires Chicken Poop at Potential ThievesS

After trying just about every security product on the market—fencing, motion-sensor lights and CCTV cameras—the 70-year-old is unrepentant, and has pooh-poohed the attitude of the law. "Maybe the police think I'm joking, but the only people laughing are the criminals. That's why I fully intend to take the law into my own hands." [Daily Mail]