A businessman in the UK has come up with a novel way to deal with potential thieves: firing chickenshit at them from a 30-foot catapult. Joe Watson-Webb, a retired showman, had the iron trebuchet left over from his days as a showman, and gets his avian ammo from the farm next door. Local cops have said that they will prosecute Watson-Webb if he uses the catapult to defend his property against arsonists and robbers—but what would they think about the other weapon he has up his sleeve? Watson-Webb is also the proud owner of a 20-foot-long cannon, out of which he used to fire his wife!


He's modded it to shoot rubber-tipped railway sleepers at criminals. And in spite of the police's stance, the 70-year-old is standing firm. "I'm not out to kill anyone or even hurt them," he says. "I just want to keep yobs off my land."

Signs up at the entrance to Watson-Webb's flooring business warn of the fate that will befall anyone who attempts to get onto the Nottinghamshire property. SmartPoo, it seems, is no laughing matter. "This is a serious issue. People all over Britain are sick and tired of feeling like prisoners in their own homes and seeing yobs get away with it."

After trying just about every security product on the market—fencing, motion-sensor lights and CCTV cameras—the 70-year-old is unrepentant, and has pooh-poohed the attitude of the law. "Maybe the police think I'm joking, but the only people laughing are the criminals. That's why I fully intend to take the law into my own hands." [Daily Mail]