If you can't hawk your wares with a standard appeal to people's vanity, there's always good old-fashioned fearmongering. Like you'll DIE in a fire caused by TERRORISTS. Unless you've got the Subivor survival kit! Ominous music and death-hype aside, it's actually not a bad little pack of emergency gear—a mask that protects against toxic smoke, anthrax and other small things that'll kill you; flashlight; whistle; moist towelettes; and a mini-crowbar, to beat down terrorists bust out windows. And it comes in a rainbow of colors (fashion is life or death too, after all): pink, yellow, green and orange. It's only $28, a good deal for the gear, an even better one for your life.

Subivor Survival Kit: Buy It or You Will Die in a Subway Terrorist Attack, Maybe

[Subivor, Thanks Dave!]