Whew! There is a little too much iPhone stuff going on out there. It's getting a bit overwhelming-even for someone who actually owns one. Not to worry though. If you are tired of all the hype or you are a frustrated Apple hater, welcome to the anti-iPhone oasis. Here you can sit back, relax and learn how to block out the fanboy jibba jabba and achieve your iPhone-free Zen.
Sensory Deprivation: In order to achieve iPhone-free Zen, you must first learn to literally block out all of the messages bombarding your senses. The following gadgets can help.
The Oculas: If you are really, really hardcore, you could drop $45,000 on what is described as "most complete and distinctly personalized lounging oasis in the world." This private fiberglass "relaxation theater" features a leather interior, massage chair, adjustable lighting levels, surround sound unit, TV, DVD and your choice of a
Mac or PC. [Hammacher Schlemmer]
Sensory Deprivation Chair: Obviously, $45K is a bit on the expensive side for the average consumer. However, you could build your own chamber like Dutch artist Atelier Van Lieshout did with his Sensory Deprivation Skull Chair. You could also buy one from the art gallery in the link, but my guess is that it won't come cheap either. [Artnet]
Sound Relaxer Eye Shades: See no evil and hear no evil with an eye mask that features ocean waves, rainforest, rippling brook and raindrop sounds. You can even pipe in your own music. Available for $24.99. [Overstock]
Brainwashing Goggles: If plain old sensory deprivation is not silencing the voices inside your head telling you to get an iPhone, a thorough brainwashing might be in order. These brainwashing goggles claim to rewire your brain using flashing images and other hocus pocus. No word on when and if the device will go into production. [Link]
Anti-Apple Propaganda: Another technique on the road to recovery from iPhone overload is to spend a little time viewing some anti-Apple messages. This T-shirt method is especially effective when being worn outside an Apple store at launch. You can take pleasure in mocking all of the fanboys suffering in line.
iDontCare available in a range of styles and prices. [Cafepress]
Ban the "i" available in a range of styles and prices. [Cafepress]
uSHeep available for $18. [T-Shirt Hell]
Violence and Aggression: To hell with all of this hippie Zen crap! The only way to silence my rage is through aggression.
Desktop Punching Bag: Maybe it's time to go to the source of the problem. Damn that Steve Jobs! Just affix the punching bag to your desktop with the suction cup and slide a photo of your nemesis into the pocket on the front of the bag. Available soon. [Perpetual Kid]
Cellphone Jammer: This little guy will shut down any cellphone signal within a 60-foot radius. Nobody can enjoy the iPhone, dammit! Available for $550. [Advanced Intelligence]