There's only one week left until the Blu-Ray release of the worst sequel ever (at least in terms of how it took my childhood and ripped out its heart Kali Ma-style), Indiana Jones and The Goddamn X-Files, and retailers have decided to go with an equally frustrating promotion gimmick. Indy-enthusiasts will have to choose between five different exclusive retail packages—getting every single piece of movie paraphernalia will be like a treasure hunt... with mediocre cinema attached!

Basically, each retailer will have its own specific exclusive that comes with the Blu-Ray disk. If you go to Circuit City, you're given two lithographs of concept art from the movie.

Best Buy gets a gift set with a replica of that Crystal Skull as well as $25 to spend on sideshowcollectables.com.

Target customers receive an 80-page hardcover book of behind-the-scenes photos and images.

Kmart & Sears will hand you four LEGO mini-posters (LEGO replicas of all four Indy films).

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And finally, Trans World shoppers receive steelbook packaging. Yes. Packaging. Right. If LEGO posters and exclusive picture books are enough to make you want to go out and buy this travesty of a movie, they'll be in all the stores mentioned above on October 14. Happy hunting.