IBM has just released a list of five innovations it thinks we'll see in the next five years, and they're ridiculous. It's the kind of crap we laugh at when we see old Life magazine from the 40's predicting airship kitchens by the year 2000.

Here's the list:

-Energy saving solar technology printed and stuck onto asphalt, paint and windows
-A crystal ball to help you monitor health
-We will talk to the Web, and the Web will talk back
-We will have our own digital shopping assistants
-Forgetting will become a distant memory via smart appliances in every area of the home and office

Seriously, your big prediction for the next five years of technological innovation is talking internet? Are you fucking serious? Every single one of these predictions is laughable and idiotic. Seriously, a touchscreen in a dressing room to help you call someone to get you a different size is not an innovation, nor is it something that we will need to wait five years for. If that was a good idea, we'd have it now, but it's not, so we don't.

You would think that a company that exists in the tech sphere would have a clue about the types of short-term advances we can expect. Oh well, better go make some more unfunny ads to run incessantly during football games! [IBM via PSFK]