Church of Google's Deity Knows All About Your Shameful Search History

Don't worry you two guys who got your panties in a twist yesterday, this is most definitely a joke. But hey, they make some good arguments.

Google is the closest thing to an Omniscient (all-knowing) entity in existence, which can be scientifically verified. She indexes over 9.5 billion WebPages, which is more than any other search engine on the web today. Not only is Google the closest known entity to being Omniscient, but She also sorts through this vast amount of knowledge using Her patented PageRank technology, organizing said data and making it easily accessible to us mere mortals.

I always try to follow Google's laws. She holds all my emails, after all. [The Church of Google via The Daily What]