My Weak Muscles Need This Self-Pulling SuitcaseS

I have the musculature of a ten-year-old. Thus, I really want this self-propelled suitcase that holds up to 70 lbs and scoots at up to 3 MPH.

We've seen it before, but now we have details. The electric motor engages when you tilt your suitcase between 15 and 35 degrees, transferring 85% of the weight onto the wheels and off of your arm. Each charge lasts 2 1/4 hours and can be taken up to 1 3/4 miles. Unfortunately, the $1,300 price tag means it's cheaper to rent a dude at $10 an hour for 130 hours to carry your suitcase for you than it is to buy one. [Hammacher via Random Good Stuff]