You Can't Miss this Hospital

I'm trying to imagine what a trip to the ER in this Chinese hospital would be like...

"He's convulsing!"
"We need a crash cart!"
"Who has a quarter??"
"I do! Take it!"
"Pullling...shit, 2 cherries. Don't you die on me!"
"Maybe you should try the craps tables. The odds are better."
"There's no time! I'm pulling again! Bar...bar...BAR! YES!"
"Clear!"

[future perfect via Core77]