Dirty Bomb Emergency Kit Appeals to the Paranoid in Me

When I was a kid I saw The Day After, which left me having nightmares about nuclear bombs exploding in the horizon, and looting supermarkets for chocolate bars. Maybe that's why I'm itching to buy this dirty bomb emergency kit.

The $250 kit description says:

Detects radiation and significantly removes radioactive material from human skin and other surfaces after a dirty bomb attack or other radiological events.

It includes:

• Our proprietary and patent-pending Quick Decon Mass Effect™ solutions for Radiation Decontamination. These water-based liquids come in convenient-to-use color-coded 32 oz. bottles with accompanying trigger sprayers (2). Our solutions are made from cosmetic-grade, FDA-approved materials and are not radioactive before use.
• One quart (32 fl oz.) for Transition metals such as Cobalt, Cesium, Strontium and Thallium. See chart for all radioactive elements.
• One quart (32 fl oz.) for Actinides such as Uranium, Plutonium, Technetium and Radium. See chart for all radioactive elements.
• 2 RADTriage™ Personal Radiation Detectors
# Decontamination Rad-wipes (45 per package)
• Vinyl gloves for use during decontamination process (4 pairs)
• Rad-Waste Bags (2)
• Radioactive Material Caution Labels (2) for use with Rad-Waste Bags
• Radiacwash Towelettes (6)
• N95 Particulate Face Masks (4)
• Instructions for Use
• Instructions in PDF format
• Downloadable Material Safety Data Sheets
• MSDS for Transition Metals Solution
• MSDS for Actinide Solution
• Chart of Problematic Radioactive Elements showing Actinides and Transition Metals
• A convenient and sturdy yellow hard-plastic carrying case easily identifiable as the Dirty Bomb Emergency Kit™ by its yellow and purple label

After reading all that, somehow I have the feeling that I won't need one of these in the case any dirty bomb explodes near me. I would just run around like a headless chicken, waiting for the people in the rad suits to arrive and get me into a bag. [Nukepills via Defense Tech]