Hey baby, look, we all have priorities. For me, my gadgety toys just so happen to fall a teensy bit above you on the list. Don't be offended! Here, look, I got you a present! Now, back to my iPhone.
BTW, if you hate the gallery format as much as the Grinch hated Christmas, click here.
23andMe: What better way to make up for neglecting your girlfriend than by giving her the most personal gift possible: a detailed analysis of her genetic code. She'll be able to learn about her descendants as well as get clued in on what sorts of diseases she needs to look out for in the future. And as an added bonus, all that data she'll get will require a good amount of time for her to go through. Time you can spend playing video games. $300-$500 [23 and Me]
Classmates.com membership: Nothing will make her appreciate your half-assed brand of boyfriending like a trip down ex-boyfriend lane, especially the high school sections. Look, you might not be able to make it through a dinner without dicking around with your phone, but at least you didn't get fat and never leave your hometown like these schlubs. Here's to being the most palatable of an unpalatable group! $39 [Classmates.com]
New Super Mario Bros Wii: Your girlfriend might hate Modern Warfare 2, but if there's any game that will turn a game-averse girl into a trash-talking controller jockey, it's this one. You can play together, alternating between helping each other out and throwing each other into bottomless pits. I'm sure there's a metaphor for your relationship in there somewhere, but I'll leave it to you to suss out. $50 [Amazon.com]
Don't Buy: Kitchen Gadgets: Even if she says she wants to get more into cooking, you probably don't want to give her a kitchen gadget as a gift. I mean, sure, you might think that her making a delicious meal for the two of you while you surf the web sounds great, but insinuating that that's how she should pass her time will probably earn you a swift kick to the hanging brains.
Asus O!Play: Getting a gadget for a gadget-wary girl might seem like an obvious blunder, but think about it: with this thing, you can stream downloaded movies and TV shows to your TV that you can watch together! As long as you are well prepared with some of her favorite movies and shows, you'll be able to sneak in some gadget-lust fulfillment in a way that you can enjoy it together instead of by yourself. A novel thought! $99 [Link]
TiVo HD: Look, you don't have to be super into gadgets to appreciate the quality of a TiVo HD when compared to the crap DVR your cable company provides. And this is, again, something you can use together rather than something she has to tolerate you paying attention to instead of her. $215 [Amazon.com]
Canon 7D: If there's a guaranteed way to get her into gadgets, it's buying her one of the best. And really, if she's into photography even a little bit, she'll love the 7D. It's a monster of a camera, one that'll have her taking pictures all the time. Looking for something a bit cheaper? Check out our DSLR buying guide. $1,900 [Link; Amazon.com]
Don't Buy: Dyson DC25: You don't want to get this for the same reason you don't want to get her a kitchen gadget, but even more so. You can be into cooking, but no one is passionate about cleaning. Seriously, if you value your relationship at all, avoid at all costs, no matter how cool you think the vacuum is. $500 [Link; Amazon.com]
Don't forget to recommend your own favorite girlfriend-pleasing gifts in comments-include pics and pricing if possible.
All Giz Wants is our annual round-up of favorite gift ideas, including amazing attainable objects and a few far-out fantasies. We'll be popping guides catered to different interests several times per day for the next week, so keep checking back.