Let me ask you something. Does your phone play VHS tapes? Does it make toast?? Does holding it against a patient in cardiac arrest restart their heart a la defibrillator??? No? That's because you don't own an xPhone.

The xPhone is the future of humanity.

And I know what you're thinking—you're thinking this is nuts. This is a joke. This can't be real! No one makes touchscreen tech like Apple or RIM, and we haven't even seen the OS. So toast or not, this sucker is too good to be true!

Maybe it is. But after watching this clip, I know one thing. If I don't get my xPhone, I'm definitely learning German. [electrobeans via technabob]