Is the 2000 version of yourself worried about missing incoming calls while online? Just connect your modem to your phone then call Sprint and go online and write a check to pay the bill and... you'll have Internet call waiting!

At least that's what I understand from this commercial. Truth be told, my attention span is no longer very good, so I'm not sure if my comprehension is really all that. This commercial goes on and on. Forever. It's like a minute. Couldn't they have said all that with a more Tweet-able word count? I don't have the time for this. My time is valuable and I have important stuff to... I wonder whatever happened to Vanessa from The Cosby Show.

Anna Jane Grossman will be with us for the next few weeks, documenting life in the early aughts, and how it differs from today. The author of Obsolete: An Encyclopedia of Once-Common Things Passing Us By (Abrams Image) and the creator of ObsoleteTheBook.com, she has also written for dozens of publications, including the New York Times, Salon.com, the Associated Press, Elle and the Huffington Post, as well as Gizmodo. She has a complicated relationship with technology, but she does have an eponymous website: AnnaJane.net. Follow her on Twitter at @AnnaJane.