LG Internet Refrigerator
Back in 2001, LG got so excited about this whole internet thing that they decided to put it in as many appliances as they could find. There were also a microwave oven and washing machine, but the Internet Refrigerator gets special mention for integrating a videophone, making it a double dip of technologies no one ever wanted.
Surprisingly enough, slapping the internet on an appliance isn't the only way to guarantee failure. You can also slap a bar code scanner on it! Fortunately, no one was prepared to spend up to $250 for the Beyond Microwave to tell them how long to nuke their popcorn. I personally would've wasted countless hours trying to find the bar code on my leftover pizza.
Game Boy Micro
The Game Boy Micro was an attempt to add some style to the Game Boy Advance, but the lack of backwards compatibility made the handheld a non-starter in the US. It was also puzzling that Nintendo released the little guy a full year after DS had hit North America—the cannibalistic competition was enough to land Micro on GamePro's list of worst-selling handhelds of all time.
Oakley MP3 Sunglasses
Introduced in 2004, Oakley's Thump line of MP3-player sunglasses are admittedly not terrible for what they are. But it's what they are that's the whole problem. Assuming these aren't your primary MP3 player—which, unless you're extremely sensitive to light both indoors and out, they really shouldn't be—is it really worth a few hundred dollars not to use your primary PMP headphones? If you answered "of course not, that would be crazy," you get a gold star. [Thanks, commenter PurpleMonkeyDishwasher!]
Sony thankfully fixed this with the second generation Mylo, but the original was a $350 messaging device that didn't support AIM or MSN Messenger. Huh! Comparably priced devices could also play games or make calls or both; Mylo couldn't do either. It could connect to the internet, but only via Wi-Fi, which at the time often meant paying extra for hotspot access.
Hey, that's a pretty nice-looking bag. And is that... a 7-inch TV monitor on the side? And a DVD player built in as well? Why yes, I believe it is! Please, good people at Bagtv, allow me to pay you $320 for the privilege of playing a movie on a bag that hangs at my side. Then please throw me off of a very high bridge, and feel free to come with!
Sony Internet Video Link
Sony's TV net streaming box was released to some confusion, followed by much derision, in 2007. Available on only four Bravia models at launch and laughably overpriced at $300, the Internet Video Link also didn't help its case by debuting with partnerships with bargain basement services like AOL, Yahoo!, and Grouper. Sony's awkward stab at living room and internet convergence remains one of the worst of its kind.
SanDisk Sansa slotMusic Player
SanDisk's master plan to replace CDs with SD cards never quite panned out, mostly on account of being foolish. While the slotMusic Player was a admittedly bargain at $20, to arrive on the scene with what amounted to another physical format in 2008—when high-capacity MP3 players were widely available—didn't make much sense at any price.
The Blackberry Storm was one of the first iPhone knock-offs from a major competitor, and it was also the worst. RIM's attempt to stave off Apple in the smartphone arena was buggy, slow, and had a touch screen that clicked annoyingly every time you pressed it. In the Storm's case, second place wasn't just the first loser—it was also the biggest.
It's possible that this is the best-sounding speaker in the entire universe. I'll never know, because there's no way you could ever get me in the same room as this terrifying little hellspawn. [via Nerd Approved]
If you want to make a male sex toy that requires you to wash it out in the sink after you've done your... business, that's your prerogative. But to make that sex toy a piece of furniture? Fleshlight, that's just wrong.