This is the life of an Apple Genius: Computers caked in toxic waste, screaming customers, dead cats, raging homophobes, and oh yeah—getting punched in the face.
We're protecting the identity of the Geniuses who relayed these tales of total cockbaggage with pseudonyms, since some of them might still work for Apple. If you want to see all of the stories on one page, just click here.
Now tell us, which Genius deserves some free pizza to ease their suffering, like we did for abused Genius Bar customers? (Sorry we can't send you guys a medal, sheesh.)