Thief Steals Man's iPad and Pinky Finger

Bill Jordan's recent iPad purchase turned nightmarish, in one of those delightfully grotesque ways that local news affiliates thrive on: a thief grabbed his shopping bag, tugging so hard that he took most of Jordan's little finger with him. Gross.

Apparently the iPad is in more demand than we thought. Fortunately, Jordan wasn't so scarred by the experience that he couldn't provide some color, like:

"I saw just a bone, all the skin and tendons and everything were off."

Or:

"...that's when he stripped the skin off my pinky and it went right down to the bone.

Doctors were unable to save the little finger, leaving Jordan's had wrapped in gauze and resentment. His message to the thieves:

"I hope you understand what you've done to my life and my family's life for a simple piece of apparatus that'll be junk in a couple of years."

I think he meant "magical, revolutionary" apparatus, right? Police are still on the lookout for the perps, who are presumably holed up somewhere playing round after illicit round of Words With Friends. [CBS4 Denver via Consumerist]