Bear Grylls Survival Knife

British outdoorsman Bear Grylls had a fancy knife before, but it was really, really expensive. What if you didn't want to spend $700 to stab something? A solution presents itself. A $60 consumer-grade survival knife.

The knife has a serrated blade, a rubber grip, a stainless steel pommel (for hammering or knife-whipping someone), and an emergency whistle. The sheath has a fire starter, "land to air rescue instructions" and a diamond sharpener. There's a pocket guide on survival in case that land to air rescue doesn't work out.

It's also very useful that the Gerber Bear Grylls knife has his signature on it—this way when you stab an actual bear in a fight, it'll be like some sort of namesake-killing-synergy situation. I'm not sure what happens, exactly, but you'll probably still poop your pants. [Amazon via Uncrate]