Doomsday-Crying Man Tries Suing the Crap Out of the Large Hadron Collider

Thought Hawaiians were relaxed types? Not Walter Wagner, who got so worked-up over the implications of the Large Hadron Collider, he fought it in court—the US court. Naturally, he was told to pipe down and take it overseas.

Senior District Judge Helen Gillmor, who presided over Wagner's most recent court case (he first took up the legal battle in 2008), explained to the paranoid man that "the U.S. government enjoys only observer status on the CERN council, and has no control over CERN or its operations. Accordingly, the alleged injury, destruction of the earth, is in no way attributable to the U.S. government's failure to draft an environmental impact statement."

According to the documents detailing the court's decision, Wagner "alleged that experiments at the Large Hadron Collider (the "Collider") have "potential adverse consequences."" Like destroying the world? [Symmetry Magazine via Discover via Maximum PC]