Hearing loss be damned! Our rugged northern neighbors are defiantly standing behind the Frito-Lay bag that's louder than a combat jet cockpit, a month after we namby-pamby Americans had them yanked from our shelves. Oh, Canada!

As Frito-Lay sustainability/LOUDNOISES hero Helmi Ansari explains above, in Canada it's more important to have a compost-compatible SunChip bag than to protect chip munchers from a 95 decibel crinkle (you start risking hearing loss somewhere around 90dB).

Besides, what's the big deal? The video shows pretty clearly that Helmi Ansari can take it. Are you saying you're not man enough to use the same bag Helmi Ansari does? Okay, that's fine, just let Frito-Lay Canada know what a ittle baby you are and they'll send you little baby ear plugs for your little baby ears.

The gauntlet's been thrown, America. And with John Boehner as my witness, I won't rest until some domestic purveyor of salty snacks introduces a bag with at least a 100dB crinkle. Hopefully more. Hell, I want a juice box that makes my ears bleed. Because being the loudest? That's what this country was founded on. [The Atlantic]