Quit Throwing Airport Security Tantrums and Let Me Fly in Peace

Brian Sodergren, the man behind the National Opt-Out Day movement is currently traveling by car—effectively opting-out of Opt-Out Day. You're currently pissing off a TSA agent by demonstrating your principles. I really hate both of you.

Here's the thing: There's something exciting at the end of every flight I take—be it next month's company party, a last-minute visit to a lover, or a family gathering. Hell, I'd even find flying out to personally deliver lunch to my boss more thrilling than a prolonged wait in an airport security line.

And because of all that excitement waiting on the other end of a trip, I'm not shy or hesitant about doing what's necessary to get through a security line as quickly as possible. My luggage is perfectly packed, I don't try to bring any questionable items past the security check, and I don't mind being scanned or patted down. I understand that the people I'm interacting with are just doing their thankless jobs and try to make my own life simpler by not making theirs difficult—I'm basically a TSA agent's dream passenger.

I understand your concerns about the potential health risks associated with body scanners. I get that you're worried that your little Susie or Billy will be confused about the principles of Good-Touch-and-Bad-Touch after a TSA pat down. I can comprehend that you're shy about some TSA agent in a dark room seeing a shadowy outline of your naked body. I think it's great if you're informed about body scanners and how they work, which airports use them, the flaws of some machines, and what happens if you really don't want to go through them. I have no problems with your concerns, principles, and complaints.

I just hate it when you display them in a way that doesn't lead to positive change and happens to interfere with my own travel agenda—or by promoting ineffective movements such as National Opt-Out Day.

Ridiculous stunts such as National Opt-Out Day, stripping down to see-through lingerie, or popping Viagra before going through a security check aren't effective. They don't magically change TSA procedures. What they do is annoy the hell out of your fellow passengers, cause delays, and leave everyone involved aggravated.

When it comes down to it, we all just want to get to our loved ones as soon as possible without being delayed, blown up, or arrested. So just drop the theatrics, get on with your travel, and contact a Congressperson or someone who can affect TSA oversight instead of just pissing off your fellow passengers and the poor sap tasked with patting you down.

Note that there are instructions on writing to your Congressperson here, information on reaching US Senators here, and details on contacting the TSA here.

Image is a combination of photos by GLUE STOCK/ShutterStock and Fernando Jose Vasconcelos Soares/ShutterStock