I don't know what your office holiday party is like (I would if you invited me!), but around here a bulletproof clipboard would have made caroling with coworkers a whole lot less terrifying.
Available in a variety of sized, most of which big enough to cover your face or a few vital organs, the bulletproof clipboard from Ballistic Systems is intended for law enforcement use. But I can think of a few census workers and Jehovah's Witnesses for whom it'd be well worth the $30. Awesome-looking gun not included, unfortunately. [Ballistic Systems via Cool Material]