For the musical mollusk in your life: the Snailele, a baritone/tenor acoustic/electric ukulele/conversation piece. Just try not to get salt on the frets.
The hand-painted Snailele is made from both hard and soft maple, and at $800 costs significantly more than an actual live snail. But who cares about all that? You should be busying yourselves with snail puns in the comments already. "Highway to Shell," etc. [Etsy via 7Gadgets]