In these troubling times, have you found yourself breaking into and robbing vending machines with a greater frequency? Join the club. Countless Americans are going to absurd lengths to obtain a handful of change and some deliciously criminal Snickers bars.
The WSJ reports that the entire vending machine industry is taking it in every hole, so to speak: sales are down, more employees are skimming off the top, and poor vending machine owners are struggling with profit margins of around 1%. And now they're being forced to outfit their machines with pricey real-time warning systems, thanks to organized roving gangs of snack thieves:
[Vending company owner Jodi Glimpse] bought her first wireless warning devices in 2005 but usually missed alerts because thieves mostly struck her machines while she was sleeping. Last fall, thieves began using welding torches and bolt cutters on her vending machines on high school campuses.
Just pay for your Tasty Kakes, you cheap bastards.