Nine year old Ty'Ge Davis is a sophisticated young man. A star math student! But not sophisticated enough to be texted a photo of two adults blowing each other on a couch. Offender's defense? Just trying to sell the couch!

"That was just too old for me...I wasn't ready for that," says Ty'Ge, who was surely traumatized by the smutty MMS. But despite being a little tyke, the kid responded with maturity—after exclaiming "Oh wow," Ty'Ge texted the guy back, explaining he was only nine years old. This wasn't enough to keep the guy from replying. Ty'Ge's mom and grandmother took over from here, threatening to call the cops on the rogue sexter, who replied that this was a miscarriage of justice, for he was only trying to sell the couch in the picture! "Do what you got to do," the caddish furniture salesman balked. Makes sense to us! It's like,What, you actually expect me to take another photo of the couch? A photo in which sex acts are not being performed on top of it? I don't have time for that! This couch needs to GO! But with this kind of advertising pitch, "He was destined for a failure," laments Ty'Ge's grandma. We're inclined to agree. [BuzzFeed]