You've still got three whole days left to find your soulmate and shower him or her with Valentine's Day presents! Here are eleven perfectly perfect gifts to let that special someone know what a modern day romantic you are.
Earphone splitter: Although the one-earbud-in-each-of-your-ears thing is totally cute in a Juno and Michael Cera kinda-way, a true music-loving couple needs stereo sound. This splitter just happens to be in the form of a cute robot. $13.
Ellsworth Witness Tandem Bicycle: For the coordinated couple, there's no better way to get some exercise (and announce your happy, carefree relationship to the rest of the world) than riding a tandem bicycle! Someone is bound to actually audibly say, "Awww." Probably my Mom. $3000.
Interlocking LEGO rings: For the fellow minifig lover in your life, these hand-cast metal rings will serve as a reminder that you're a perfect fit. $125 for the set.
8-Bit Flower Boquet: These flowers, perfect for your lovely videogaming lady, will never wilt! Like your love for her, or something. I dunno. $15.
Jawbone Jambox: Music makes any encounter more memorable, so whether you need a soundtrack for your couples' bath or your picnic in the park, the Jawbone Jambox Bluetooth speaker will do the job without any messy wires. Buy your guy or gal the candy red one, obviously. $200.
Patent Valentines Day Cards: Why buy some cookie cutter American Greetings card—which, by the way, is like the ONLY kind of card you can find anymore. What's with that?—when you can get one of these fresh, romantically-themed patent cards? Best part: you can download them and print them yourself. Free.
Philips Imageo Rechargeable Candle Lights: Candles are romantic, no doubt, but they're so old. They used 'em in like the 1800s! Maybe even earlier! These Philips LED ones will make you feel like you're doing it on a spaceship. $20.
Roku and Netflix Subscription: What's the best way to get high-tech and romantical with your butts firmly planted on the couch? Get a Roku and pop a rom com on Netflix. May I suggest When Harry Met Sally? $60.
USB Plasma Heart: If you're really determined to give your significant other a USB peripheral this Valentine's Day, this crazyass plasma heart is probably the one he or she will detest least. Besides maybe one of those dog humping your computer memory sticks. Those are funnay. $17
Liberator Wedge: "So babe, you know, hey, uh, I just thought...you know...I saw this thing in a magazine, well, erm, ha, it's funny, isn't it? What a silly idea, right, gee whiz...whoever came up with this thing. But yeah let's try it sometime. As a joke!" $60.
8-Bit Dynamic Life Shirt: For the couple whose bond is strong enough to survive the potential ridicule of wearing matching outfits, these proximity-sensitive shirts—the hearts light up the closer you get—are an impressively geeky way to show your affection (for eachother and, say, Zelda). $20 each.
