The Royal Wedding: Not In 3-D

Despite being steeped in gross-fruitcake tradition, great measures are being taken to ensure that the upcoming royal wedding will take full advantage of every technological convenience of the digital age. Facebook will update us, iTunes will sell the soundtrack, and Anderson Cooper's holographic form will hover above the proceedings like a ghostly guardian angel.

But when it comes to 3-D, that will be the extent of it, as the Royal Family has declined an offer to broadcast the nuptials stereoscopically.

British Sky Broadcasting has gone to "great lengths" to persuade the House of Windsor to broadcast the wedding in 3-D, even going so far as to film a mock ceremony. No luck. Wedding organizers said they didn't want to deal with the "footprint" that the hefty 3-D cameras would leave in Westminster Abbey. Still, they were unerringly polite about it, as one might expect:

"I know you have all become increasingly enthusiastic about 3-D and I'm sorry that this will come as a disappointment," a spokesman wrote in a letter to Sky and other broadcasters, which was quoted in the British newspaper The Guardian. "I hope you feel the process we have gone through will be helpful for other live events and of course we do not rule out facilitating 3-D at some point in the future."

Oh, well. I guess the Swarovski-crystal-studded 3-D glasses presented to the Queen in Toronto last summer will continue to gather dust among the rest of the lesser Crown Jewels. To think — we came this close to practically being able to reach out and grab the end of Kate Middleton's 120-foot-long train. [NYT, photo via Getty]